I got a call from a friend of mine today who was looking for some advice on negotiating a potential job change. This was a fun call because I like to help my friends. It was also fun because it made me think about how I approach negotiating. I think of it as an information gathering process throughout an interaction instead of an isolated event. I also think the process is inherently uncomfortable – because during it all parties figure out their limits and then come to a mutual agreement. That implies a bit of pain for all involved. Finding a comfortable stance in the middle of the discomfort is key to getting what you want.
- Assume nothing. This is is not easy – we all have habits of thinking that color our perceptions and more assumptions than we realize. If you wipe away everything you think you know, you’ll ask better questions and be in a better position to make a decision based on what you find out. It is a useful practice in all of life and business but especially during negotiation. I think one of the reasons people make assumptions is because asking questions can be perceived as being weak. In 20 years of business I’ve learned there is no single way of doing anything. Asking about the particulars in a situation (especially the particulars that matter to you) can uncover important details. For example some companies let you accrue paid time off. Some start you out with 2 weeks and some are starting to offer unlimited time off. You can’t assume vacation policy but you can ask about it in a way that doesn’t make you seem like a jerk, which is important. Asking the right questions not only makes you look smart, but it can help you guide the negotiations in a direction that helps you get what you want.
- Know what you want and know what you need. No one ever turned down a position because it paid too much. Money isn’t everything but it is why most of us work, at least in part. As far as salary have a good idea of what you need, where you are happy, where you are ecstatic, and where you’ll accept a position but feel deflated. But also don’t forget that salary isn’t everything. How a company handles benefits and intangibles matters and things like time off and training and tuition reimbursement or conferences within your industry, or retirement benefits all can influence a package if you value them – but they are worthless if you don’t. Know what moves you so you can make sure you get it. And remember rule number one – just because one company handles something one way is no guarantee of what to expect from someone else.
- You won’t get what you want unless you ask for it. It can feel awkward to ask for what you want, but it is the only way you will get it. Even if the answer is no the fact that you knew what you wanted and asked for it is powerful. Asking for reasonable concrete things that are turned down creates a vacuum in a negotiation and something else will be offered to fill it.
If you really want whatever hangs in the balance and if the other party wants it too then you are in a good position. In a way this is a creative give and take – and there may be one assumption you do need to make. Assume it is possible to find the place where everyone is happy. If you really believe it you have a much better chance of shaping the outcome to that end.
